The other day I had to take my son to Urgent Care for a splinter under his finger nail. Let’s just say the splinter removal process is horrific for a two-year-old. When the doctor explained to me that we would have to hold him down and numb his little finger with a needle and then cut a chunk out his nail to pull the splinter out. I was getting my things ready to leave… but of course, the doctor said his finger would get infected if we didn’t remove it. So then it was showtime, the doctor wrapped him in a blanket and we started to hold him down. I immediately saw the fear in my son’s eyes, I had never seen this look before and it broke my heart. I just kept imagining grabbing him off of the table and running to the car. The next five minutes seemed like an hour and we somehow made it, though. On the way home from the hospital I told my mom how upset I was and stated, “Nobody tells you things like this when you’re pregnant!” Which is completely true the more that I think about it. I remember people telling me,”labor is tough, breastfeeding is the way to go, get used to not sleeping,” blah blah blah. Nobody told me a few things that I see now that I am two years into this mom life.
One. When your child is in pain –
Seeing your child in pain is one of the worst feelings ever. Especially when you can’t fix that pain. When my son was learning to walk he fell and I thought he cried because it scared him. After picking him up I realized blood was pouring out of his mouth. Yikes. I panicked and cried, go figure. My boyfriend grabbed him from me and calmed him down…oh and me too. So usually my first initial reaction is to soothe and fix what I can, seeing him bleed got the best out of me. So, there WILL be moments where you can’t think and act out of impulse. Hopefully, your actions are better than my reaction!
Two. When it’s nap time or bed time –
I became an aunt when I was 10 years old. I was and still am very close to my nephews. I learned how to feed, bathe, change diapers, burp, you name it – I did it to help my sister. Over these years of helping out, I learned a lot. Mostly everything stuck with me and I remember it all like yesterday. One thing I definitely remember was rocking and/or laying down with my nephews when it was time to sleep. Of course, I would pass out first and my nephews would vandalize the house. Lesson learned there! So after bringing my son home from the hospital I told all visitors that I did not want him rocked and I also never put him in bed with me and my boyfriend. I took self soothing to the extreme when he was a baby, call me mean but it was truly a life saver. With a soother and a little tough love before he realized it was tough love, it worked! My son has always slept by himself with zero complaints and sleeps through the night. Kids are creatures of habit, I learned to stop a habit before it had the opportunity to become a habit. So now with the extra time I won’t be using to nap with him. I spend it doing exciting mom duties like drink wine while taking bubble baths. In other words I fold laundry and mop floors…way more exciting, right? Point to my rambling is you won’t realize how hard it will be to stop co-sleeping or rocking until you have to break their habit.
Three. When you’re sick, nothing changes –
This is crazy accurate. Moms don’t have sick days! It doesn’t matter how I feel, things need to get done and nobody else is doing to do them. I remember the first time I was home alone with my son and had a migraine. I had my head in the toilet for a while and was worried about my son getting hurt while unsupervised. Funny how mom’s think, no matter how we feel we care more about our children’s safety and well-being.
Four. You are on your babies schedule –
I can not tell you how many times I get up to go somewhere and right when I’m getting my sons shoes on (thinking I’ll be early enough for a cup of coffee) he has a meltdown. Or when he was a baby I would get him all dressed; clean diaper and strapped into the car seat and he would poop with a grin on his face. My son is very particular, he has a bunch of animals and figurines. He attempts to take them everywhere, we usually agree on 5-10 toys. Somehow out of those toys, there is one that he wants and can’t find. So at 6:30am when I’m running out the door late he will tell me, “Mom I can’t find my hippo.” Normally before being a parent I wouldn’t think this is an issue but without their special item – waterworks will be coming! Or of course the repeating of, “Where’s my toy. We need to find it, help me, mom.” Either way, you’ll sacrifice those extra minutes to spare, just to make them happy.
Five. Saying no is harder than you think –
Stay strong moms! There is nothing worse than saying no and then giving in. That cute puppy dog faces will always make you reconsider if “no” is actually necessary. It definitely is or your baby will start playing you, babies are so smart and know how to get what they want. I have recently loved the idea, of saying other words besides “no”. I feel as if it avoids tantrums and teaches patience. I have been trying things like: “Maybe in a little bit” “let’s try eating dinner first”. Instead, “we are going to do this.” It’s much more reasonable than “no.” – Your baby will take suggestions much better than demands.
Thanks for reading everyone! Please comment below and tell me what you didn’t realize until after you became a mother.